we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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