Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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