I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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