nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
