also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize