I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
