Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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