she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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