I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just found a bag of teeth...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
