Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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