If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
