She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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