Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize