We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
