We're like a lot better than the average bears
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize