in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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