Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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