before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That accounts for only three of the penises
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
