Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
