CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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