I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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