YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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