you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
did you just send me my own nude
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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