We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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