it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
