dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize