I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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