I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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