all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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