Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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