The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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