HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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