Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
