I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You made out with two different species that night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
its liver damage thursday
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
