Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
