He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
