I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
whose parrot is this?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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