Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
