come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
