windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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