I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
