Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
