Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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