I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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