were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
