I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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