i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
