8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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