is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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