oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
