Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize