he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
