I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
