Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
