I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize