Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
