Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
