Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
