Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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