Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
