You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
