this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
