The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
