Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
