I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
