So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
