Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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