And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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