Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
