I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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