I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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