So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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