i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
