My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
