You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
