I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize