its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
