Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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