i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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