I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
